Couples Therapy2021-07-31T03:10:15+00:00

Services Covered

• Couples Therapy
• Partner Issues
• Marriage / Cohabitation Issues
• Separation / Divorce
• Premarital Counseling
• Infidelity
• Stepfamilies and Co-Parenting
• Discernment Counseling
• General Relationship Issues
• Same-Sex Couples

Couples Therapy

Negotiate : Collaborate : Problem Solve

  • Are you tired of getting into the same fights over and over again?
  • Do you feel like the things that once drew you close to your partner are now pushing you away?
  • Is your relationship on the backburner behind kids, bills, housework, etc.?
  • Do you yearn for more intimacy but don’t know how to reconnect?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, Couples therapy can help.

In Couples Therapy, you can:

  • Create a better quality relationship with increased cooperation.
  • Learn the skills for better communication and greater empathy for your partner.
  • View your partner as your ally, not your adversary.
  • Gain appreciation for each other.
  • Create greater intimacy, making closeness a priority over work, family, sports, etc.

Couples Therapy – Frequently Asked Questions

What is Couples Therapy?2021-06-21T14:45:01+00:00

In couples therapy, the therapist helps the individual partners to evaluate their relationship as well as to look at their individual contributions to conflicts within the relationship. Couples learn the art of negotiation as well as learn to develop creative solutions to ongoing problems. The therapist teaches new concepts that will assist you in collaborating around disagreements allowing you to improve the quality of your relationship.

The therapist will teach you how to identify a low-level fighting process and how to avoid escalating an argument, so it does not get out of hand. There is great focus on learning how the process of how you treat each other is often more important than the content of what you are quarreling about.

How does couples therapy work?2021-06-21T14:45:14+00:00

It starts off with a free interview during which I will explain the process of couples work.  Initially, I work with each person individually for several months eventually working up to doing couples sessions. From there, individual and couples session will occur as needed. A successful model has been where both partners continue with individual sessions and meet once or twice a month for couples.

When is couples therapy needed?2021-06-21T14:45:19+00:00

Couples therapy is necessary when there are difficulties between you two that you are not able to resolve on your own.

Frequent discussions, some episode that has left a trace of disappointment or distrust, communication problems… the reasons are very varied.

But broadly speaking, couples therapy is the best way to take care of your relationship when you run into some obstacle that you cannot overcome.

What are the most common problems of couples?2021-06-21T14:45:33+00:00

Problems with couples span a wide variety of issues.  Infidelity is a common one, but I am seeing more couples over the past few years come in where the relationship is simply not aligned or as well connected as in years past, where couples may be growing apart. COVID has certainly led to couples reevaluating their relationship, and since we are now out and about again, this is certainly the time to address the issues that have come to the forefront.

Other common problems: frequent arguments, communication problems, sexual problems, jealousy, lack of respect, spending too much time working, etc.

I’m not sure whether or not I want to continue my relationship with my partner. Should I still come for counseling?2021-06-21T14:44:46+00:00

Yes. I will meet with you individually to understand your feelings and help you sort through your options.  During these initial meetings I will be focusing mostly on gathering information and coming to understand your situation. After these initial sessions, we will work together to explore your options and formulate a concrete plan for how to make things better.

Will my partner and I always attend counseling sessions together?2021-06-21T14:43:58+00:00

No. I find that the best way to help partners improve their relationships is through a combination of individual and couples sessions. Individually, I will help you and your partner focus on the changes that you each need to make. During couples sessions, I will assist you in putting these changes into practice.

How long does the counseling process last?2021-06-21T14:34:58+00:00

The process will vary depending upon the needs or your situation. Some come for just a few sessions while others feel that they continue to benefit from continuing work.

How do I know when to go to couples therapy?2021-06-21T14:34:24+00:00

Research has shown that the longer a couple postpones couples therapy, the more difficult and time consuming it is to arrive at a successful resolution / outcome.

If you are concerned about something in your relationship, the sooner you ask for help the easier it will be to resolve it and the fewer sessions you will need.

Your first free informative visit is just to assess whether or not it is a good time to ask for help.

What can you learn from couples therapy?2021-06-21T14:32:37+00:00

For couples who are motivated to make a change, therapy will allow you to learn many things. These are some examples:

  • Learn how to better negotiate and collaborate so that you both “win” rather than both “lose”
  • Improve the ability to communicate with each other, without losing your temper
  • Become more aware of parent/child relationships that negatively impact your happiness as a couple
  • Learn how to identify a low-level fighting process
  • Learn new concepts and tools to assist you in learning how to have productive disagreements
  • Talk about difficult issues rather than sweeping them under the rug
  • Become aware of the process that you use (tone of voice, etc.) when communicating with each other
  • Be more respect worthy towards each other, no matter which direction the relationship moves forward in

And many more things that will not only have a positive impact on your relationship with your partner but will also help you in the other personal relationships you establish at home and away from home.

Do you offer services for same-sex couples?2021-06-21T14:31:55+00:00

Yes. Harbor Counseling is LGBTQ+ friendly, and I am here to support all couples.

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